after watching "the soloist"

i was kind of reluctant to watch this film as i was suspicious that it was a simple, heart-tugging film, but i found it to be grittily honest. furthermore it reminded me that life is fleeting, and we need to take advantage (in a positive way), learning, understanding, feeling. today's world is so full of distractions, be they digital or otherwise. it reminded me of a field interview that i performed in Brazil, which resulted as follows:

"- ...I believe, truthfully, I don’t know if you believe, but I believe that the Apocalypse is already the end of the times. It’s biblical.

But isn’t that the definition of the word? [laughs]
- I believe in the end of times. I believe that God exists and is arriving because there’s no repairing. Whatever repair… principally Brazil and the whole world, because it’s destroyed. Only God. Only someone very powerful, because men here on earth…

Would you say that you don’t think that humans can get themselves out of this situation?
- No. They can’t anymore.

Why not?
- Humans have no energy for this. No, sir. It’s over. It’s over. In my mind, I only believe in God. Invented planes, invented everything, now I want to see if they [humans] can conquer the violence in the world. No man has appeared to do so. So much sickness, violence, and they haven’t been able to do it. When a man has the knowledge of God. I believe and I trust."

after i turned the tape off, i turned to this woman, who had been generous enough to give me her time, sit with me in her home with her daughter to discuss goals for the future. i told her that i didn't believe in this, that humans are beyond the help of anything but God. this is why i search, this is why i learn, because i believe that the solution is within us. all of us. not some of us. for me, this doesn't write God, or whatever you may believe out of the equation, we are all part of the same thing.

in the tone of the last post, i feel like we need to be creating things, moving toward better understanding of others, as i feel that this, learning from others, appreciating others, family, friends, acquaintances; this is key in life. i feel like most of the time we're tempted to preach, tempted to urge others on in the way that we feel is best suited to them. life's too short to dictate passions, needs, etc (ironically, now i am being preachy here).

i find it humorous that many these days are so open, so frank with their lives to an audience unknown here on the web, and at the same time, are relatively invisible to their families, their friends. not to de-valorize the need to be connected online, but i think life's about disconnecting from the web, taking a walk, taking time for tea or coffee with a friend, sitting down with your wife, your girlfriend, your significant other to truly connect. i think that's about it for now.

visual media

upon seeing a few things recently, i was provoked in the following ways:

after watching one episode of "mad men", which is apparently super-popular these days, i was disgusted. not that it's not interesting and catchy in a soap-opera way. my beef is that it's some wet-dream of the power that some men had in the past, the subjugation of women, the "magic" of marketing, having plenty of drinks with the good ol' boys, living the "dream". i care not that it may be engaging, what i take more issue with is that under all these difficult economic times, we yearn for the same system that we've been residing upon, the obsession and fetishism of marketing and commoditization. more so, after watching the movie below, makes me wonder, as my brother steve asked today, why would people produce this pap when they could be focusing on much more interesting issues.

after seeing "war, inc." by mr john cusack, i was really amazed in the beginning when looking at all the exaggerated ways that today's industrial military complex was depicted. it seemed completely surreal to me, until mid-way through the film, i believe when the tank delivers dry-cleaned shirts, and a soldier hopped up on dehydrated coffee is shooting his gun as if he were playing some game. from this point on, i saw that the exaggerations were simply extensions of what is already going on, how the United States has privatized industries to reap the "opportunities" that are created from the destruction of war, like halliburton and kellogg brown and root (whose logo seems to be ripped off as "tamerlane" in the film). the discrepancy of the "stable green zone" and the highly destroyed fringe areas, the inexperienced, eager contract soldiers, and many other features definitely reminded me of Iraq. even the fake country of "turaqistan" is a merge between Iraq and Afghanistan.

ahh.. that's about all i can handle for now.
abraços,

reason for post about happiness

the reason for my pondering the "pursuit of happiness" question yesterday was the fact that i was thinking about my wife and how much she's changed my life for the better, because she supports my development, and makes me so much better of a person than i could ever aspire without her. so, at the risk of portraying myself as a sappy fellow, i'm posting this. and, i already miss her, as she's traveling for work, even though i last saw her about 24 hours ago.

happiness...

another thing that i was pondering: happiness. although many governments portray to have the best interests of people at their heart, i truly believe that the best that can be done for people is to provide them with the means to discover happiness. i wholeheartedly agree with our forefathers here in the US that "life, liberty and the persuit of happiness" are the basic rights.

i think many demand that everything be done for them, that the only thing that we have to do in life is to take the packaging off what we're given. but as trite as it sounds, i believe that the only way that we find happiness is by looking for it in the first place. there's not some vast checklist, containing items such as "buy a house", "travel once per year", "eat out once a week", "meet up with the family", etc. that can be prescibed to those wishing to be happy.

happiness is something that may change over time, maturing, or fluctuating. and it's something not to be left for the end, as there's no way to make up for lost time.

i was going to be apolitical for this time around, but this made me think of prop 8 in california, and while searching for "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" i stumbled across the following post which is far more eloquent than i could possibly be on this subject.

abraços,

rumination on saudade...

saudade is a portuguese word for longing, or missing something or someone. the feeling that it implies is rather profound, although many times that i have stayed in Brazil they have told me that the word is untranslatable, however i disagree. the word is translatable, but i think at times the feeling is not.

was just listening to the pinback song "tres" and it reminded me of when i saw them live, and rob (one of the singers/multintrumentalists) was singing "hello?" in the loneliest voice and tone that i've ever heard before, and i think that is saudade.

the interesting thing to me is that the word can mean such bright and happy, and such dull, deep pain when used in particular concepts. a brazilian will say "morri de saudades..." meaning "i died of longing" upon re-encountering with someone special but this can sometimes be bright. i've heard of at least one brazilian, probably a poet, spoke of his longing to see Brazil through the expression "saudade" but died without ever seeing it again.

fragment, sliver of time

so. i've been trying to start off application introductions with benoit mandelbrot's quote that clouds are not the heterogenous surface that they appear to be, but homogenously containing irregularities. here's a little taste:



it's interesting that today i was walking, and i noticed between brazil and seattle, there is no end or beginning to me. odd (or not), my experiences seem to be blending together in some untangleable bunch. i do say this in the best manner, as being here in brazil has energized me, and kicked things up. i think this means i'm on the right track. i guess fragmented this becomes:

"that i, am walking today, and noticed ends between, interesting brazil and seattle or the beginning absent to me. Or as be mixed be not with the untangleable bunch with my experience that is strange it is thought. i think that i who i say this am this means i am doing me well, with the best way in the time that able to notice life and raised that it is in brazil here."

"while you were running is the reason for everything,
except for what makes stuff rest,
and in the town they are passing and galloping" - mice parade